Guide 4 of 5 · Support
Everyday care at home
The main points
- Speak slowly and calmly, and give the person time to answer.
- A regular daily routine helps the person feel safe.
- Make sure they eat well and drink enough water.
- Changes in behaviour often have a cause, such as pain, hunger or needing the toilet.
Talking together
- Face the person and use their name.
- Speak slowly and calmly. Use short sentences.
- Ask one question at a time. Give them time to answer.
- Try not to argue or correct them. Their feelings are real, even when the facts are mixed up.
- Use touch, smiles and gestures as well as words.
A regular routine
- Try to do things at the same time each day: waking, meals, washing and sleep.
- Let the person do as much as they can for themselves, even if it takes longer.
- Keep up the things they enjoy — music, prayer, walks, time with family.
- Keep days active and nights calm, to help with sleep.
Eating and drinking
- Offer water and drinks often. People with dementia may forget to drink.
- Serve small meals, and foods they can eat with their fingers if cutlery is hard.
- Check their mouth, teeth or dentures if they stop eating. Pain can be the reason.
- Sit and eat with them if you can.
Safety at home
- Keep floors clear, and use a light at night so they can find the toilet.
- Keep medicines, chemicals and sharp things locked away.
- Take care with cooking fires, stoves and hot water.
- Put the person’s name and a family phone number in their pocket, in case they get lost.
- Let neighbours know, so they can help if the person is out alone.
When behaviour changes
A person with dementia may become upset, restless or angry. This is not their fault. Often something is wrong that they cannot put into words. Check if they are:
- in pain, hungry, thirsty or tired
- needing the toilet
- too hot or too cold
- scared by noise, crowds or a strange place
Once you find the cause, you can often ease the distress. Stay calm and speak gently. A calm voice helps the person feel safe, even if they do not follow the words. If that does not help, try a change of activity or a quieter place.
Get medical help
Sudden changes need medical help. Get help if the person suddenly becomes much more confused, very sleepy or unwell. These changes can be a sign of an infection or another illness. Quick treatment can help the person recover.
This guide gives general information about dementia. It is not medical advice for any one person. A doctor, nurse or health worker who knows the person can give advice that fits them. Please speak to them about any worries.